Hi, I'm Courtney! I'm a North American wife, mom and UX engineer.

I love video games where you farm stuff.*

All opinions are my own, and do not reflect the attitudes of the company I work for. They know better.

* No, not Farming Simulator, sorry.

© 2009 – 2022 Courtney Cloudman

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

I have something to announce, and it's not that I've been hacked! The name is different, but I'm the same person as before... sort of. Let me tell you what's happened!

I don't know what it's like for most people when they reach adulthood, but I for one felt confused & empty well past that point. I didn't like who I saw in the mirror; life had little meaning. At first I thought I was missing things in life, and I was. Life became much better with friends, a good income, a loving partner & family. I love them all and I don't take any of it for granted. By that point, however, it was very clear that I wasn't missing things in life. I was living the wrong life.

Through a lot of soul-searching and - eventually - therapy, I realized the basic problem: I'm a girl! My life was empty because it wasn't the life I was supposed to have, and the person in the mirror wasn't me.

Transitioning is not an easy thing to do. It's a lot of work, I won't have all the privelege that I'm used to, and people don't always react kindly. Nonetheless, I have to do it. I was living a lie, pretending to be someone I'm not. If you know me, you know that I hate lying - well I'm done lying to myself, and I'm done lying to you.

Since this realization, the changes have been drastic. I love the woman I see in the mirror, and I'm excited to make the most of my 30's! I didn't even know what excitement meant before. I've got my life back, and I'm not just going through the motions anymore. I know I'll be a better parent, partner to my wife, daughter, co-worker, and friend to all. I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

So, yeah. I'm Courtney! I love the new me, and I hope you like me too.